Uk Satire
-
Disappointment as Boring Lecturer not Joining Industrial Action
The whole science faculty has today reeled at the department’s most tedious lecturer’s decision to cross the picket line. To no one’s benefit, the fifty-something monochrome enthusiast has resolutely returned to work, fully determined to read his one hour long diatribes directly from the powerpoint. It is believed he has done so out of neither […]
-
‘Give His Office a Wipe Down’, Damian Green’s Successor Warned
In a shock move, Damian Green has resigned as First Secretary of State and Minister for the Cabinet Office following allegations of being an enormous wanker. He has also been accused of using parliamentary IT resources to view pornographic material. Artist’s impression of Mr Green viewing Ted Cruz’s Twitter feed Following the resignation, Mr Green’s successor […]
-
Working Class Officer Referendum Passes: Russians Suspected of Meddling and First Potential…
The Lemon Press presents exclusive coverage of all the campus response to the breaking news that the working class referendum has passed with 51% of votes in favour. Read on for a round-up… YUSU Referendum HQ? Average students: ‘What referendum? You Sue? What’s that? Who? Jack Harvey? Policy? Fuck off, get a life.’ Yes Campaigners: […]
-
George Osborne Special Coverage
George Osborne to Join Mars Mission George ‘Gideon’ Osborne, MP for Tatton, Editor of the Evening Standard, BlackRock adviser, Kissinger Fellow, Washington Speaker, Uber driver, fireman, member of the Privy Council, Chief Constable… (cont. 200 pages) George Osborne to become MP for Old Sarum to better manage his constituents’ needs (1 x cow, 3 x […]
