Education
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Intercepted Message from the President
Intercepted Message from the President Students, take note! The Lemon Press’s crack team of h̶a̶c̶k̶e̶r̶s̶ data journalists have intercepted this hush-hush communiqué between our President and the staff of our chief c̶e̶n̶s̶o̶r̶ patron, YUSU… Dear colleagues, As we approach the last term of the academic year, I thought I should give you a short update […]
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Parents Oppose Science Lessons Over Concerns That Their Children Will Become Dinosaurs
Holy Faith’s recent scandal comes in the form of the latest Year 3 Dinosaur Project. Despite the school’s recent statement that “this project will not encourage your children to become dinosaurs, it will simply teach your children more about dinosaurs”, parents are still concerned. Holy Faith’s students turning into Dinosaurs Jemima Smith-Pendleton, Head of the […]
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Heslington Hall Occupation: A Diary
Day 1. Morale is high, and numbers are good. We will show these UUK pig fuckers what we’re made of. A nice lady has just been round with some mugs of tea and words of encouragement. We have some jokers here who thought it’d be funny to play Vengaboys while York Vision were trying to […]
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The First Instalment of ‘The Diary of a Mature Student’, by Emma Ayre
The Old Bird: Compelled to Write in the Hope of Reaching at Least 1 of the 256 Mature Students on Campus. You are alone. Yes, don’t be fooled into thinking you will be lucky enough to bump into anyone within a 5-year radius of your age, now that you’ve pushed yourself off the monotonous train […]
