The Lemon Press today calls for a second referendum to be held within The Lemon Press on whether or not it should support or oppose the YUSU referendum on whether or not YUSU should support a second referendum on the UK’s membership of the European Union.

Following a referendum with historically unprecedented turnout numbers (1 person), members of The Lemon Press overwhelmingly voted for a second referendum on its position to be held. The question on the ballot paper was: ‘Do you believe The Lemon Press should hold a second referendum regarding its position on the upcoming YUSU referendum?’

Despite this apparent display of unity behind polling the membership again, several opposing factions have broken out within the media group.

One sect, ‘Oh Fuck Off, Cunts’ (OFOC), are arguing that the other members of the society are all unfunny bastards who couldn’t write satire if their life depended on it, and that as a result the membership cannot be trusted with a second referendum, that the first referendum was also pointless, and all referendums are.

The ‘Hard Lemoneers’ have suggested the society would be wasting its time and money supporting one side or the other in the YUSU referendum, and that its resources would be better spent taking advantage of the magnificent trade deal on Viagra being offered in the society’s email account.

A third group has been pedantically arguing that members of the society ought to use the term ‘referenda’ instead of ‘referendums’.

Asked to comment on society infighting, Finn Judge, Activities Officer, sent an email addressed to the Labour Club in which he asked for aid in getting his head out of his arse.

— Editorial Team