In a move characteristic of that kid in school who boasted his dad was an astronaut, a lawyer, and also Tony Hawk, oblivious knucklehead group Daesh (also called ISIS, IS, Those Damn Lazy Millennials) have claimed responsibility for Wednesday’s attack at Westminster.

The unambitious pseudo-state-cum-ersatz-Al-Qaeda immediately took to their press office the moment their intern saw the attack on BBC News in an attempt to try and scrape some sort of accolade out of it.

This follows a spate of vehicular attacks in Europe which the group have claimed responsibility for. Most of these events are lacking in the orchestration of the terror attacks of the last decade, instead having the same intellectual forethought as the average 13 year old’s GTA Let’s Play.

In addition to the Westminster attacks, IS has claimed responsibility for a mugging in east London, a parking violation in a Glasgow suburb, 9/11, and the lack of Nintendo Switches in stock at your local Game.

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi could not be reached for comment, possibly because he forgot to pay his phone bill.