Eddie Atkinson
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I Adopted a German Shepherd and He Didn’t Seem Pleased
Hey! What the fuck are you doing? Please stand up and move away from my wiener. This is just one example of the inexplicable abuse I regularly receive when crouched in dog parks attempting to bag up shit. A few weeks ago however, I came to a realisation: I might get fewer looks if I […]
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Red Flag Alert! All of My Partner’s Previous Relationships Ended
Just weeks ago I was a simple, romantic, English Literature student living in blissful ignorance, deeply in love with my girlfriend and pootling through my life writing about Marxist Structuralism in the Mr Men. Then calamity struck, I got lost on my way to a tote bag crafting social and stumbled into the maths block. […]
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‘Red Mirage’ due to End Any Day Now
The ‘Blue Wave’ that political commentators across the globe promised us would cancel out the Republican Party’s early lead in the US election is on its way, definitely. You would be forgiven for losing hope as a number of signs seemed to suggest Trump was doing well in the election, like when they announced the […]
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Campus West fountain too shy to put on full display
IT’S PERFECTLY NORMAL! IT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE! You made me wet but not in a good way. These are all things the campus west fountain hears every time it tries to spurt into action. He sees you staring and he’s shy uwu. Fountains can’t perform when Central Hall is staring quite so intently. Because of […]
