Genius! York Vision have pranked the entire nation. Here’s what those absolute nutters did:

Stage 1. Deliberately create a dogshit edition with an ‘all new design’ that is neither a newspaper nor a magazine in aesthetics or content.
 Stage 2. Pay for, print, and distribute the new edition around campus.
 Stage 3. Allow it to be panned by everyone for being a big steaming pile of shit.
 Stage 4. React poorly to criticism (allegedly).
 Stage 5. Pretend that you are printing a new version of the same edition, but in the old style. Slightly less shit, but not by much.
 Stage 6. Allow the idea to be panned by everyone for its idiocy.
 Stage 7. Keep the ruse going while people slowly get angrier.
 Stage 8. Keep it going. Refuse to yield. Lie repeatedly. 
 Stage 9. Suggest that it has been printed and is distributed.
 Stage 10. Accept that stage 9 was incredibly dumb and blame the weather.
 Stage 11. Have a good long sleep.
 Stage 12. Quietly admit it was a joke and watch everyone split their sides with laughter. 
 Stage 13. Revel in your victory. Oh how they will wet themselves. How they will roll around, clutching their stomachs, yelling ‘my god we are in the presence of greatness indeed’.

York Vision are funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny people. Ha ha fuck me what a hilarious cunt of a joke.

We would like to congratulate York Vision for getting back into print, especially our counterparts at the Sports section. Cracking work.

Aside from that, we here at The Lemon Press would like to lobby Kevin Feige and the Marvel Cinematic Universe to create an origin story movie for Black Panther’s poorly punctuated nemesis ‘white cisgender man’ played by the Nouse Editor in the lead role.

Greetings, it is I, Hassan, Drifter of the Deep, no I am not the ‘Beast from the East’, you should be ashamed, but might Hassan sell you some of his wares, yes? Copies of ‘York Vision Issue 230’, antique! Contains actual journalism, not like the knock-off you find today.

After defying all odds by making it to print, campus ‘newspaper’ York Vision discovered a new form of pain post-print. Vision editors were shocked when they suffered paper cuts while distributing.

Vision’s health and safety officer was unfortunately unable to help this unexpected situation stating that ‘their main concerns were with helping the paper recover from libel cases not with applying plasters. The Vision first aid kit now only includes the emails for defence lawyers.’

The Lemon Press has offered valuable advice on how to deal with this situation, with gloves frequently appearing on distribution days. Lemon curd has also been recommended to sooth wounds that take place while distributing.

Before writing to the lawyers, please note: This article, much like the latest issue of York Vision, is a big old joke. The next issue of The Lemon Press will be available in summer term.

— The Lemon Press