In Westminster, a Ford Fiesta drove into a security barrier outside the Houses of Parliament. Yeah, that’s right, a Ford Fiesta.

The driver, Salih Khater, hit three pedestrians, who have ‘minor injuries’. Yeah, you heard me, ‘minor’ injuries.

The man conducted the attack just after half past seven, an hour known for its lack of pedestrians. I swear I’m not joking.

He drove the car directly into the outermost security installation, and was led away by armed police. Yeah, I know, he was stopped exactly where he was meant to be stopped, and then didn’t get out of the car.

Parliament was not sitting. I don’t think he’ll ever be able to show his face at the terrorist bar again. He’ll be laughed out of town.

And naturally, I’m very happy that no one got killed or seriously injured, and all the usual credit to the security, but can we just take a second to appreciate how incredibly stupid this guy must be. I can’t wait for the response attack where someone rides a bike into his nan’s house. Remember when terrorists used to steal planes?

— Myles ‘On A List’ Dunnett