Last used when Jacob Rees-Mogg was a young man, John Bercow, Speaker of the House of Commons, whipped out a 415 year old parliamentary convention not enacted since 1920.
Taking the advice of Theresa May, John Bercow has ruled that a democratic vote cannot be repeated until those proponents of the government’s Brexit deal secure the result they want.
Unless the Prime Minister can substantially change the legal text of her Brexit deal, it will not be allowed to be presented before parliament. Rumours have circulated amongst cabinet officials that the government are planning on changing the font of the legal text from Times New Roman to Comic Sans, although the ERG leaders have said they won’t be voting for it unless Mrs May promises all clauses on the Irish backstop are written in Wingdings.
We approached Bercow for comment, but he quickly climbed in his car, slapped his ‘Bollocks to Brexit’ sticker in the window and fucked off.
More to follow.
— Samuel Goodall
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