If I were to hypothetically have a captive that you need to keep somewhere on the University of York campus where would be the best place to do so which would allow for the correct amount of psychological torture? Hypothetically, of course, I don’t know any reason why anyone should need to know any of this, this is purely for fun.

The glasshouses in the Biology Department:

• I don’t know what bioweapons are being grown there. I’m a humanities student and haven’t done anything apart from reading and writing for the past five years. Science scares me and what’s more I have a suspicion that every biology student chose to study it so that they can get the knowledge on how to create poisons. It would probably be a good place to keep a captive (just as long as they don’t have any heavy to throw against the glass walls there.

The Constantine Centre:

• I don’t know what this place is called but apart from the sunshine that peeks into this place, it has nothing to offer making it the perfect place for someone to trap a captive (if they had one for a most likely extremely excusable reason) as there will be little to entertain them apart from staring at the names of all of the previous Constantine college Chairs.

Eric Milner:

• I used to live here, it is now abandoned already which makes it very useful as a place to keep a potential captive. What’s more, you can charge them £157 a week for the privilege of them being trapped there, meaning you can get a profit out of what is likely a difficult and costly thing that you could hypothetically be doing (I have been told to say that part of the costs go towards catering and plumbing and that this is actually a really very perfectly reasonable cost to pay for a run-down 1960s block with likely asbestos and water that is not safe to drink flowing into the rooms). 

The tunnel at the bottom of the lake:

• I think the tunnel at the bottom of the lake would be the best place to hide any people because most people haven’t even heard of it and even fewer know the entrance to it. The plastic bottom will keep the area insulated so you wouldn’t have to spend any money on heating. 

Secret Location:

• I won’t reveal this one.