Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron has said he is to leave the role following last week’s election.

The statement follows what he calls being ‘torn’ between serving as political leader of a progressive party and his faith.

Farron found it difficult to reconcile leading the Liberal Democrats, which involved delivering addresses which claimed that the party could be relevant in the political landscape of 2017, with the core religious belief that Thou Shalt Not Lie.

The acting Bishop of London, Pete Broadbent, said that ‘no-one should have to choose between faith and politics’ and it was ‘deeply regrettable the gadge found himself spinning such bloody absurd yarns. Mate, the Old Boy is looking down and shaking his head at that bullshit.’

Despite the Bishop’s kind words, Farron ultimately has made his choice between faith and politics.

In related news, the Right Rev Dr Peter Burrows, acting Bishop of Sheffield, shall be presiding over the funeral of previous Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg’s career.

— Pasky Miranda