This week, wave after wave of drone strikes bombarded the Ukraine leading to an amount of deaths that we will leave to the editor to accurately detail.

Disclaimer: this is bad

Which left our writers wondering who’s going to win the mortal race to European oblivion, Putin or prospective Atlantean style Climate change.

As the lowlands currently sink to the ocean floor, pumping out water like a grandmother in an overflowing bathtub. Ukrainians who still remain can take solace in the fact that those who dodge the smoke, ash and deadly death which besieges them from land and sky can still conceivably breathe air.

Disclaimer: this is still bad.

Those who have inexplicably failed to leave the catacombs of Venice over the last thirty years can not say the same.

After posing the question to Russian Defence Secretary Vladimir Oilovich, he stated: “Does anyone have any serious questions?” In response, after venturing to Brighton beach, I was simply left with “no response”. It seems these two competitors are so opposed in their respectively similar goals, they deny each-other’s very existence. This is truly shaping-up to be a battle for the ages.

Russia is still bad.

First published in Issue 63