To tell you all the truth, I am bored of making jokes about York Vision. I am so tired of seeing their dismal efforts littering campus, each miserable edition another litre of nut-brown piss slung into the face of a once decent publication. For three and a bit years now, I have been offering, erm… ‘constructive’… critiques in response to their output. But over the years, there has been a dramatic decline in quality, and criticising Vision now feels a bit like mocking the afflicted. Yet I shall proceed, because one element of York Vision’s latest edition is beyond the realms of my already stretched comprehension.

There’s always a lot to criticise about each edition: terrible layout, awful content, dreadful grammar, heinous puns, a genuinely saddening overall product. But this edition moves Vision from low-effort shitrag to utterly appalling, possibly dangerous, low-effort shitrag. On the back cover, for all to see, the words ‘SEND NUDES’. Yeah. Yup. Aye. In this, an era of #MeToo, anti-lad culture, and a general wokening, they chose that as their back cover.

I like jokes. And beer. I like beer. Boys like beer. Girls like beer. I like beer. But this isn’t a joke. Or beer. It’s silly and dangerous and crass and tasteless and hypocritical. York Vision has previously accused various societies and groups — including this humble publication — of sexism, lad-culture, all sorts of other bad and reputation-damaging and often untrue things. Given that the latest edition has ‘Send Nudes’ emblazoned across the back, endorsed by the logo, you might think that York Vision has chosen to ironically re-appropriate that outdated and tired meme. But no. It leads to a submission point. Need I go on? Apparently I must.

Take for example, this scenario: the same pervert/terrorist/perverted terrorist who looked up either child porn, terrorist material, or some combination of the twixt, prompting a campus-wide email, decides to submit a picture to York Vision’s ‘Send Nudes’ webpage. It is of an underage person, and because there is no age verification, no one realises. At this point, York Vision are already guilty of possession of illegal material. The next stage — perhaps too obvious to relate — is if they decide to publish it, at which point they become guilty of distributing illegal material. Not to mention the other possibility of ill-use of this ingenious submission point: revenge pornography. And here’s another question: why did YUSU allow this. Who? What? Where? When? In the library with a lead pipe?

Here’s a question that occurs to me: are the editors perverts? Have they just found a way to ask for nudes, under the guise of irony or stupidity? Have they never heard of the internet? Well, I’ll leave that up to you to decide, but in the meantime, I’ll be sending them a picture of my magnum dong in portrait mode.

The really bothersome thing is that no one at York Vision gives a shit. They’re all just happy to be back in print — a former editor said as much on Twitter. Forget the sporadic production schedule, the slapdash content, the lack of care and attention, and the generally stupid mistakes, what matters to them is having physical copies. But what if those physical copies detract from reputations? Not just the reputation of York Vision — that went, finally, with the astonishingly misled ‘Seven Years a Piece of Furniture’ front page and redesign. Not just the reputation of the York Vision team, either — as journalists they have no integrity and as students no apparent respect for their peers. But as members of the University of York, they have no apparent care for how this may reflect on their institution. And that is fairly sad.

So, York Vision — paper, team, content, and all: hang your heads in shame, but most of all SEND NUDES. And that isn’t even satire.

And yes, I did predict the headline, and no, I am not even a little bit proud.

Introducing: THE LEMON PRESS MURDER VIDEO SUBMISSION POINT. Send us your sexiest murder vids at https://www.crush.ninja/en-us/pages/TheLemonPressMurderVids/

Update, 15:45 BST: Since the publication of this article York Vision have updated the link to redirect to a Google form with attached files being hosted on their Google Drive. The form now requires users to be logged in to a Google account, and notes that:

‘By submitting this form, you are confirming that everyone in the uploaded images is over 18 and has consented to photos of them appearing in York Vision.

Revenge porn (sharing naked images of someone without their permission) and sharing explicit photos of people under the age of 18 are both criminal offences — don’t be the person Vision reports to the police for sending us illegal nudes.’

Do not be mistaken: the link used to direct to a fully anonymous submission point. Stupidity of this level is not excusable even if corrected.

Update, 16:45 BST: YUSU have pulled the issues from campus and released a statement. Banter timeline confirmed real.

— Myles Dunnett