A former University of York BNOC might have said something, but we aren’t allowed to tell you what it was. It may, or may not have, resulted in some consternation from the addressee. It may, or may not have, resulted in the dismissal of the addresser from employment. But we cannot confirm what was said. Indeed, we cannot confirm if anything was said.

But rest assured, if something was said, and we can’t tell you if it was, then it may or may not have caused an issue that may or may not have been an issue. Essentially, something, that may or may not have happened may or may not have caused someone to become offended. The person that may or may not have been offended may or may not have been rather annoyed. This might (but, note, might not) have become an issue that may, but may not, have resulted in a lot of interest from media, or indeed, not-media, societies.

All we know is that we’re not allowed to tell you. AND THAT’S ALL WE KNOW. OR DON’T KNOW.

We may or may not be allowed to print this.

Myles Dunnett, issue 34, 2017