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University-Geese Ceasefire Off Following Peace Talks Communication Breakdown

October 16, 20211 minute read

Communication breakdowns resulting from translation difficulties arose this week between university representatives and representatives from the extremist waterfowl sect known as the geese, throwing doubt on the future of campus relations.The peace talks, held at the demilitarised Greg’s Place quickly devolved in the absence of UN peacekeepers from attempted discussion to threats and demonstrations of violence perpetrated by the geese following the misinterpretation of seed and corn benefaction.

Following tense and unsuccessful verbal negotiations, University representatives changed tactics with the gifting of traditional waterfowl delicacies; the presentation of this peace offering appears however, to have been perceived by the geese present at the peace talks to be an act of aggression.This confusion resulted in swift demonstrations of force and a brief standoff ensued. 

Conflict was avoided when university representatives, keen to prevent another altercation, retreated from Greg’s Place to safer ground. No injuries were sustained on either side. A university representative stated following the encounter that, “Both sides fundamentally want to a peaceful conclusion to the aggressions for their people and realise they can’t get that without resolving the language barrier issues we now face”.

Geese representatives declined to comment.

Luke Horwitz

Lemon Press

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