Ministry of Levelling Up to Help Gamers

The first priority of Michael Gove’s newly renamed ministry will be to help gamers acquire experience in order to level up their characters in their video games.  A crack team of civil servants have been tasked with learning how to become a gamer, by being sent to the basement, and being given an incredibly large supply of chicken nuggets, mountain dew and the world’s largest selection of energy drinks (the production of which is thought to have caused the nation wide carbon dioxide shortage).  Gamers will now be able to send over the login details to the ministry and by the end of the day their character will have reached legendary status, saving them hours of hard work having to grind their way through the levels, and giving them  the opportunity to leave the house.   

The full title of the renamed government department is; The Ministry of Levelling up gamers, Helping them to leave the house, and stopping them using gamer words in online communities.