I believe I can ﬁx all of the following men.
Arthur Fleck: Behind the makeup and concerning behaviour, I see a diamond in the rough here. I’d start by helping Arthur channel his energies into his standup routine; it’s an act ripe for development and ComedySoc are just the group to nurture him. Soon enough he’ll be on committee and a very well-adjusted member of society. Just don’t invite him onto YSTV.
Tom Harwood: I just need to ﬁnd the key to this man and then he’s sorted.
Prince Philip: Philip is a bit of a ﬁxer-upper but nothing too big to handle. First, we’re jumpstarting that heart and reanimating those arms. Soon he’ll be ﬁring on all cylinders like a Land Rover and headed head ﬁrst through the windshield of success.
*******: I can ﬁx the Seven Asterisk Man. His is a name that’s said in hushed whispers and bylines. All he needs is his memory kept alive in these hallowed pages of TLP. The more you mention him, the stronger he grows. I can’t ﬁx him alone, but together, post by post, we will enshrine his legacy give him a ﬁne litter of TLP children.
Myself: This may be the toughest of them all. Several hundred TLP articles deep and a hole for a brain, I’m going to need to put in some long hours. However, I’m on the right path. Fixer is about to turn ﬁxee and that requires a long course of therapy.