It is without a doubt that despite the size -4 waisted Barbie being a monolithic cultural figure, her biologically implausible body has been a social justice killing ground spanning over decades. However, now the ugly everyman stands triumphant and coincidentally, the accurate depiction of the human condition has become suspiciously pertinent to toy manufacturers. Most notable of these is the normal Barbie, Mattel’s newest release which occasionally forgets to wipe after pissing and suffers an implacable sense of existential dread like the rest of us plebs do.
However, rolling over the hill is Hasbro’s rival attempt to gain a stake in the realism monopoly with their effort, PTSD Joe. The beleaguered veteran comes with three customisable emotions: grim resignation, the thousand-yard stare and the look of harrowing memories creeping once more into his sleep, realising he will spend another night mournfully gazing at the ceiling. But the fun doesn’t stop there because PTSD Joe has up to 25 screams of fallen comrades etched forever into his memory and he lives them over and over again every time you pull the string in his back! Yet that’s still not all! Push the gun wound on his stomach and he will recite maudlin war poetry before using his karate chop action arm to hold the loaded service revolver against his skull!
Yes, we are living in a new age, but PTSD Joe wishes he didn’t live in it.
Empty bottle of whiskey accessory not included.
Remorseful glare emotion coming soon.