Holy Faith’s recent scandal comes in the form of the latest Year 3 Dinosaur Project. Despite the school’s recent statement that “this project will not encourage your children to become dinosaurs, it will simply teach your children more about dinosaurs”, parents are still concerned.

Jemima Smith-Pendleton, Head of the PTA, told us, “I’m concerned about our children being exposed to this. I don’t have an issue with dinosaurs. Some of my best friends are dinosaurs. I just don’t want my children learning about it at this young age. It just doesn’t seem natural to me. I mean, I just don’t know how to explain it to my children.”

In a rebuttal from the school they claimed: “It’s just a craft project, your children won’t end up as T Rex — actually you know what, Jemima, we’ve had enough of your shit, quite frankly, please just stick to cake sales and keep your fucking nose out of it.”

— Ashvini Rae