It is the 16th August 1819. The brave men and horses of the 15th Hussars wait anxiously as an angry crowd gathers to hear renowned rabble-rouser Henry Hunt spew more of his incendiary bile. As the crowd turns nasty, the brave but utterly useless and crass Manchester and Salford Yeomanry are dispatched. Naturally, the army are dispatched to save them shortly thereafter. What follows next has been twisted and warped beyond all recognition, and it is time to set the record straight.

Of the 80,000 people present, just 15 were killed (some say 11 but they’re damned liars). Massacre I ask you? Massacre?! If the British Army wanted a massacre they’d have killed all 80,000 in ten minutes, and then taken the rest of the north with them. How dare these revisionists call Peterloo a fucking ‘massacre’. If the British Army had truly performed a ‘massacre’ the whole of Britain’s working class would have been laid down by the 18th of August. Did they see what we did to Napoleon? We kicked his short French arse all the way to hell! Do people honestly think the British Army couldn’t take more than 11 peasants if they wanted to?! Bloody proles. It’s absolutely un-British to call Peterloo a ‘massacre’. This is the problem with modern Britain: absolutely no faith in the massacring ability of the armed forces; far too weak; no understanding of what a good slaughter is. Amritsar? Mau Mau? Now THEY were massacres.

— E. Liverpool