The latest in a long line of terrifying constructions is a 50 metre long needle, moving according to the voter returns in each state. The British architect of the ride, Professor Sir John Curtsy, had been looking for a way to show an apathetic public the power of their vote – through the medium of a stomach-churning contraption. ‘Every vote makes a difference. For example, just last night an early vote in the Texas senate race pushed one father over the edge – causing him to projectile vomit all over the 5 metre tall display of Ted Cruz. That voter could be you.’

A vast array of modes are on offer – ranging from the sickening 2016 Florida race to the predictable steady swing of nearly any race in Washington DC. In the former mode, all you hear are terrified shrieks. Gleeful Trump supporter? Scream as 100,000 voters in Broward County drive the oxygen from your lungs. Concerned Democrat? Shout as a retirement village finish their pilgrimage to the polls. Fear can unite us in an age of polarisation.

Channel 4 are hoping to build their own version for the next general election. Jon Snow has been undergoing intense preparation through a course of high g-force training, determined to have his pulse on the latest data – and his pulse directly determined by the data.

The ride is planned to run non-stop through the results night of the midterms. Already, a queue considerably longer than that at the local polling station has formed. There is some concern that the appeal of the ride has depressed turnout in the local area. In fact, one man has been strapped in since the start of early voting, not having had any time to vote in between the battering they’ve received from other voters.

Who will control the senate? The house? I don’t have the answers. However, one thing is for sure – if there’s a blue wave, it’ll be followed by a yellow wave of sick.

–Will Rowan