As the heroic rescue of the twelve trapped schoolboys and their football coach comes to an end in Thailand, investigations into the cause of their entrapment within the cave system have made a breakthrough discovery.

Thai detectives, working with Interpol, have pursued leads that suggested a flautist seen in the area, from Lower Saxony, had led the teens into the cave. This is thought to be related to the startling discovery of the removal of the vermin from the area some weeks ago, which had baffled scientists.

Reporters from The Lemon Press managed to track down the brightly dressed piper, and spoke with him in broken German. Herr Hamelin staunchly denied the allegations, and further denied allegations he had been banned from being within 300m of schools in his native Germany.

Herr Hamelin is currently awaiting trial on two charges of what roughly translates from Thai as ‘Performative Mass Kidnapping via Instrument’ and ‘Conspiracy for Big Time Noncery’.

— Henry Dyer