A source close to ITV’s executives, namely Arnold the head cleaner, has exclusively revealed to The Lemon Press plans to replace Kyle with Corbyn as he single-handedly saves the nation, one dysfunctional Northern family at a time.

The Jezza C Show’s main target demographic is surprisingly similar to its predecessors — hungover university-age champagne socialists looking for some connection to the lower classes and ‘real labour’. To differentiate itself from Kyle’s show, the lie detector test has been replaced by a segment using the latest in Virgin Train CCTV technology. Based off initial viewership testing, the ‘Diane Abbott Paternity Test’ is certain to create more of the same tense drama we’ve all grown to love.

-Louis Jani