Campus
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Uni of York Band ’The Jefferies’ Release Their Second Album
Just two months on from the release of their debut album, The DTEF Queen Is Dead, which lamented the departure of Ms Harvey Dowdy from the University’s Executive Board, James College indie rockers The Jefferies are back again with Severances, Here We Come. Taking inspiration from the present financial situation at the Uni of York […]
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Charlie Jeffery Appears on Dragon’s Den
Students at the University of York were shocked to see that their Vice-Chancellor, Charlie Jeffery, was appearing on the BBC programme Dragon’s Den. I watched the show live last Thursday, and I have recounted a summary of the events below. Charlie opened the pitch (£15 million for an 85% share in the University of York) […]
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Long Boi, More Like Long Bye! Get It? Because He Was Moved
Oh you don’t get it? You poor thing, you silly sausage! Well, the joke is quite sophisticated, so I suppose you can be forgiven. You see, the word “bye” in the joke relates to the fact that the statue was moved, but it also sounds like “boi”, as in Long Boi. This double meaning gives […]
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An Interview with Gary, Lord of All Geese
On Wednesday, one of the campus correspondents for The Lemon Press was granted an exclusive interview with Gary, Lord of All Geese (GLAG) in Yorkshire and Surrounding Regions, who has recently taken up residence on Campus West of the University of York. TLP: Okay, so, first off, I have to say it’s an absolute honour […]
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Donald Trump Declares Victory in York SU Elections
In a bizarre and, frankly, disturbing move White House resident Donald Trump has preemptively declared himself York SU’s Union Affairs Officer. In a statement released on Monday, the Home Alone 2 star claimed that it’s “obvious” that the overwhelming majority of York students wanted him to lead York SU. He also added that “while it […]
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Uni of York Band ’The Jefferies’ Release Debut Album
The up-and-coming UoY indie-rock band The Jefferies released their eagerly anticipated debut album on Friday. The trio, all from James College, only formed in October 2023, but they have fast become the stars of the Campus music scene. Titled The DTEF Queen Is Dead, their first studio album explores the relationship between the built environment […]
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Disgraced Uni of York Reform Society Students Launch Protest Society
A faction of ReformSoc that was kicked out for not being racist enough decided that they would now focus on what they do best – complain and be annoying. They already did their first anti-anti-Reform protest and have published what they will be protesting against next month. As much as we hate them, they will […]
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15 Point Plan to Address University of York’s £15m Deficit
1. Close the two remaining receptions and replace all receptionists with YABBAtars (York Automated Bionic Buddy & Assistant). 2. Completely axe Open Door mental health support and sign post students to DeepSeek (open-source natural language chatbot) when they feel sad. 3. Design, print and deploy even more energy saving posters. 4. Buy and fly an […]
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York SU Announces New Sabb Role, Supreme Pontiff
In an attempt to fill the power vacuum left by removing the ‘President’ role from the Student Union, the boffins at York SU have developed the role of ‘Supreme Pontiff’, or just ‘Tha Pope’. Lewis Parrey, who is currently the ‘Union Affairs Officer’, which he assures us is “basically the President, like, genuinely, literally just […]
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Harvey Dowdy, Former Director of DTEF, Plans a Cheese Pilgrimage
Harvey Dowdy, former director of the University of York’s Department of Technology, Estates and Facilities, will be embarking on several Bikexplore cycling tours across Yorkshire this year. Seeking “pleasure first and foremost”, Harvey’s cycling tours feature “excellent cafe stops and comfortable accommodation”. She’ll be cycling across the Vale of York, the Wolds and the North […]
